It worked!

A few years ago I left my sunglasses in a public place. When I went back for them (I remembered where I had left them, thank goodness) I noticed they had a whole drawer full of cell phones.I asked, "Don't you try to contact the people who lost them?? The woman at the desk said she didn't know how. So ever since then I always keep a picture and contact info on my lock screen. 

This is not my current photo or contact number (indeed it is my cell phone number so it would not work) but you get the idea- it shows how to contact me. My current one says: "PLEASE contact me to return my cell phone. I don't remember where I left it."

Well, it worked! I left my phone in a restaurant today and within an hour they called and I picked up my phone.

I am posting this because if you aren't doing it already, you may want to do it. It is not fun to add text to a photo- even for someone like me who is into photography. Indeed my current lock screen photo and info took me several hours to put together. But it worked!!!! And I got my phone back. You may want to add this feature too.

An Evening in Portland

This is our fourth time spending part of our summer in Portland but it is our first time  in an apartment rather than a hotel. It doesn't seem to make as much difference as I had expected, seeing as we are right next door to our favorite hotel. We're still going to the same restaurants,  dancing with the same people in the same places, hiking in the same park. 

So I don't have a lot of unique and new events to share. Living in a city is...... kinda like living in any other city. Which was the point here, as I am thinking I would like to live in a more urban city. The thing is.... the more time I spend here, the better Phoenix/Scottsdale looks. The housing is not as nice as back home, and the driving here is challenging, while the driving at home is easy or easier. Here there are one way streets, narrow streets, and stop signs every block or every other block. To say nothing of having to parallel park every time I move the car. It isn't that hard to find a space. I rarely have to circle a whole block, but they are building more apartments (good, more decent housing) but not building parking spaces to match so future parking in this nice neighborhood looks more challenging. 

Tonight I did something nice. I went to a concert of the music of Joni Mitchell. Since the name of this blog, From Both Sides Now,  comes from a Joni Mitchell song I guess you know I like her music and resonate to the words in her songs. I used that title because it seemed to sum up how I feel about life at this point in my life.  When I was younger I felt a lot more certain about what was good, what was bad, what was real and what was not. 
                  
                  I've looked at life from both sides now
                  From win and lose, and still somehow
                           It's life's illusions I recall
                        I really don't know life at all. 

The concert tonight was a young woman with a lovely voice playing all the songs from Joni Mitchell's album, Blue. This was an iconic album. Rolling Stones lists it as number 30 of the 500 greatest albums of all time. I remember when it came out very clearly. 

In the olden days, before iphones and ipods, before CDs and even before cassettes the best and probably only way to hear our favorite music was  to buy the album, preferably on the very day it was released. 

When Blue was released in the early seventies I was living in London.  It was during the height of the Vietnam War and civil rights unrest back home. It was a fine time to travel the world on $5 a day while I tried to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I'd been traveling for several years and could really relate to the words of this music:
                       
                         Sitting in a park in Paris, France,
                    Reading the news and it sure looks bad.
                           They won't give peace a chance
                     That was just a dream some of us had. 
                               Still a lot of lands to see
                          But I wouldn't want to stay here
              It's too old, and cold and settled in its ways here. 

                                 Oh it gets so lonely
                               When you're walking
                    And the streets are full of strangers
                        All the news of home you read 
                         Just gives you the blues..........

Like I said, it was a difficult time back in the states and the American news was mighty dreary. Anyway, back to Joni Mitchell's album, Blue. 

One person in my crowd of friends in London bought the album first and we all met for brunch to listen to it. The party was very international; the hostess was Hungarian, there was a South African, of course a lot of Brits, a small handful of Americans and no doubt others too that I can't remember. I remember the event very well because I had never been to a brunch before and I brought raw eggs and raw bacon thinking we would all be cooking together. Oops. 

Just a few more lines of a favorite song to share: 
                         
                    I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
                         Looking for the key to set me free
                  Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling
                     And it undoes all the joy that could be. 
              I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
                  I want to be the one that you want to see
                          I want to make you feel better
                           I want to make you feel free
                        All I really want our love to do 
                Is to bring out the best in me and in you too. 
               
Tonight's concert was a real walk down memory lane. Most of the audience was from my generation and I had a chance to chat with the folks sitting and reminisce where we were when we first heard this album. And we all sang along to Big Yellow Taxi:
                          
                              Don't it always seem to go
               That you don't know what you've got till it's gone
                 They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. 

I remember this album so well. I know the words of many of the songs, and by coincidence even met Carey (one of the songs is named after him) at a party in New York some years later. 

Anyway, right before working on my blog I posted a thank you to Joni Mitchell on her Facebook page. I wish I had thought to do it years ago as her health is not good. But better late than never, I guess.  

What Does It Mean To Be A Woman?

Can Caitlyn Jenner Speak for Women?

Since the Diane Sawyer interview and the Vanity Fair photo shoot of Caitlyn Jenner, Caitlyn is no longer being lumped with the rest of the fame seeking Kardashian clan. Which is interesting as she is now seeking fame more openly than before. Kardashian 2.0. Nevertheless both the media an the public are praising Caitlyn as brave and courageous while she transitions from 70s sex symbol to a modern sex object in such a public way. The Vanity Fair photos and article imply that breasts, hormone supplements, long hair and lipstick supply most of the material one needs to be a woman. I read a description of the magazine cover as “a pedestrian celebrity pastiche of rather tired visual clichés.” I agree with his assessment and in addition find it age inappropriate. It makes me wonder what exactly Ms Jenner and I have in common as women other than our similar ages and similar level of fitness. We certainly do not share any of the same life experiences. Her notion of what it means to be a woman is simply not one many women can relate to. 

While I am not a strong feminist I am part of a generation that worked hard and long to equalize the playing field between men and women. This magazine cover and all the applause Caitlyn is receiving as a result of these photos brings up a question: what does it mean to be a woman? There are certain life experiences that women worldwide share- but I am not sure that either wearing a corset or makeup are on that list. What we do have in common is we have been routinely offered certain courtesies by men such as protecting us from violence, carrying heavy loads, paying the check or opening doors for us. On the other side of the coin, we have also experienced certain indignities, such as unequal pay checks, sexual harassment, and intimate violence.

I recently read that at the height of her popularity in the late eighties the actress Suzanne Somers asked for a raise when she discovered her male co-star was being paid five times her salary. Five times!!!!! Instead of receiving the raise she was fired.  Things have changed somewhat since then but not as much as you would think. Just today in 2015 Prime Minister Modi of India praised the female Prime Minister of Bangladesh for her efforts to combat terrorism “despite being a woman.” Even if you run a country you risk having your efforts demeaned by men- that’s what it means to be a woman, Caitlyn. It has very little to do with wearing nail polish or expensive lingerie. 

Woman around the world share a large number of concerns that Caitlyn has not had to consider. So it is difficult for her to grasp what being a woman really encompasses. She is still at a point in her development where she is largely concerned with her physical image. But this may change in time. I doubt that she has ever worried for her personal safety before walking on a dark street at night, entering an elevator or leaving a parking garage. But these issues may come up for her in the future as they do daily for women worldwide. 

She won't have to worry about getting pregnant after unprotected sex. This is major issue for all women. Indeed it might be the most common concern worldwide. How can someone really grasp the meaning of being a woman if they have not shared this experience? Another problem that Caitlyn will not have to worry about is getting your period in a public place and hoping no one will notice. 

But she may share the problem of being sexually harassed. At 6'2" she probably won't have to worry about sexual violence from bigger or stronger men But she is likely to encounter men looking at her bosom rather than looking in her eyes as they talk to her. 

I applaud this national dialogue which opens the way for people to be accepted for who they are, rather than having to fit into the stereotype society has created. But we should beware redefining our idea of what it means to be a woman based on someone just beginning to walk in our high heeled shoes.